A is for... A Clockwork Orange, my favorite movie. Please love, or at least like, movies. My least favorite genre is slapstick comedy. I prefer color to b&w and English to subtitles. I am hardcore and can watch 4-6 films a night, but don't expect you to keep up or like the same ones I do.

A is also for... Age. I am 49. Please be younger, older, or the same, but not under 21. I think age is mostly irrelevant. It's how you handle yourself and how well you stick to your word.

A is also for... Alcohol. I'm not big on booze or bars unless live music is involved. Please don't be an alcoholic.

A is also for... Affair. No married/attached men, please. I don't share. You are attentive and available and want a relationship not a one night stand, buddy, bimbo or arm candy.



B is for... Baggage, something everyone carries (especially those who deny it). I lack most of the baggage women my age tend to have. I don't take pills or see a shrink, don't hate men or sex, I have no kids, etc. I just think and live outside the box and a lot of people can't handle that.

B is also for... Beauty. I am a size 14 and while I'd be willing to lose weight to please you I am never going to be Barbie nor do I want to be. I don't want to wear stockings, bras and/or stilettos. If your lady needs to look like a porn star, a model, or be "hot" it ain't me, babe. The guys who go for me realize I am everything those other women aren't, and could care less because I have a genius IQ level and I have integrity.



C is for... Cats! I have one, wish I had more, please don't be allergic. I like dogs too.

C is also for... cuddling (you can never get enough)

C is also for... concerts (you can never get enough)

C is also for... conversations (the kind that pick up next time where they left off)



D is for...dealbreakers. Don't lie to me about anything, ever, don't use cocaine, heroin or meth (sorry, I also don't have the self-confidence to trust in your recovery), don't cheat on me.



E is for... education. I have two masters degrees and am A.B.D. I have taught at multiple colleges. I am very intelligent but still do stupid things at times.

E is also for... emotional availability (we are and we share)



F is for... foreplay, a long lost art. You won't keep me without it.

F is for... fourtwenty which you love or at least tolerate. If you don't know what 420 is, you're way too square for me. Be aware I will not give this up for you.



G is for... Grateful Dead, a band I have followed for 30+ years. My fave band is actually Jefferson Airplane, and yes I love all that classic acid rock. If you claim to love all kinds of music you are probably not for me as I am pretty fixated, to a fault. And, yes, I have many of the hippie values that go with being a deadhead.

G is also for... growing together as a couple. You are looking for a partner, not to be in charge.



H is for... height. I'm short, 4'10". If you are shallow and this bothers you, move on the next ad.



I is for... intense, something I am called often. If you like your women quiet and stupid, with no original thoughts, run away now.



J is for... Jewish. I could care less about religion, and am an atheist, but I was born in Israel so if you care, there it is.

J is also for... jam bands. If you're too young to remember the 60s, hopefully you like some of these.



K is for... kissing. A lost art. See foreplay above.

K is also for... kids (you don't have any, or they are adults, or they don't live with you)



L is for love (money can't buy you love)



M is for... music! I also listen to The Rolling Stones, Pink Floyd, The Who, The Doors, CSNY, Janis Joplin, and folk music such as Joni Mitchell, Jackson Browne, Harry Chapin. I respect some newer artists like Pearl Jam, Joss Stone and Melissa Etheridge. No opera, classical, country, hip hop, etc. I know from experience relationships revolving around wearing headphones do not work. The above is what I listen to 24/7 and if you're around me you're going to hear it too.

M is also for... monogamous (you are)



N is for... Naked, and the fun we can have

N is also for... NY, where I grew up. I have an East coast personality, love major cities and have also lived in Chicago, Philly, and SF.

O is for ... outrageous (I've been called this, and "colorful character" too)

O is also for... orgasms (many and mutual)



P is for... 420. Worth repeating twice.

P is also for... pizza (mmmmm!)



Q is for... questions. We like asking and answering them.



R is for... restaurants, a passion of my life. I love sushi, but also all Asian food inc. dim sum, Chinese, Thai, as well as other ethnic choices such as Brazilian, Ethiopian, Persian. I love shellfish, pizza, fried chicken, BBQ ribs. Be aware I avoid American, Jewish and Mexican food.



S is for... sex. I have a much stronger sex drive than most women, and need an imaginative, open minded, partner. However, I don't have sex on the first date, and it might not happen till the 10th. So if you answer these ads to go from woman to woman, it won't work with me.

S is also for... STDs. I don't have any, you don't either.



T is for... trust. Are you trustworthy? I am.

T is also for... truth. How many lies have you told in 2006?

T is also for... touch. When the first 2 T's feel right, the third is awesome.

T is also for... travel (you've been there, done that)

T is also for... tangents (what were we talking about?)

T is also for... time (you have it to give and want to see me multiple times per week to the extent I continue to make you happy)



U is for... upfront. I am, about everything. You are too.



V is for... variety, the spice of life. Please provide some. I will too.



W is for... wealth. I don't need/want a sugar daddy, I don't need/want to support you. I'm as happy having a great chat over a glass of water on the couch as spending dough in a mall. I am not financially stable. To compensate, I have lots of free time to work with your crazy schedule.



X is for... X-rated movies. I like golden age classics. I probably know more about adult films than you do, please be okay with that. If it's a problem to you I've met everyone from Linda Lovelace and Annette Haven to John Holmes and Harry Reems, or that I was a sexologist and can discuss sex in elevators and restaurants, move on. You don't have to like porn, but I am not throwing mine out for any man ever again.



Y is for ... you. The missing piece of the puzzle. Tell me where we click and don't and whatever else I didn't mention.



Z is for... zodiac. I'm a Capricorn, Aries rising, Cancer moon. What's your sign?